Mental Health Awareness Week: Q&A with Simon Harper

To mark Mental Health Awareness Week (11-17 May), we spoke to Air Commodore Simon Harper, Director of Operations at the RAF Benevolent Fund, about the mental wellbeing support available for serving personnel and their families at the Fund.

Simon served for 34 years in the RAF, including as Station Commander at RAF Halton, which gave him first-hand insight into the challenges military life can present for serving personnel and their families. In his role, he oversees the delivery of grants, services and programmes, including welfare support, wellbeing initiatives and funding for RAF units and facilities, ensuring help is provided at the right time and for however long it is required.

From your experience, what are some of the posing challenges serving RAF personnel and their families may face?

Due to the transient nature of military life, RAF families are often required to relocate to different bases and locations frequently, sometimes at short notice. My family was no different, and I know how disruptive this can be particularly to children’s education.

Deployments can place significant strain on families with the absence of a partner or parent for extended periods often leading to emotional and practical challenges for the family left behind, including feelings of isolation when moving far from family and friends.

Since 2016, the Fund has provided £620,000 in Children’s Needs Grants, supporting families with essential costs such as childcare, educational needs and unexpected wellbeing expenses. Additionally, over the last 15 years, the Fund has invested millions of pounds in childcare centres and play parks across RAF stations that provide support and benefit to children and young people every day.

What emotional support does the Fund provide for serving personnel and their families to help overcome these challenges?

Supporting mental wellbeing sits at the heart of everything we do. Whilst all the Fund’s services are designed to support the emotional wellbeing of our beneficiaries, we know that for many within the RAF Family, having access to direct, personalised emotional support can make a real difference.

Our Listening and Counselling Service provides a safe, confidential space to talk through whatever you may be facing, whether that’s stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties or challenges linked to service life. This includes Children and Young People who need support in dealing with issues such as bullying, academic pressure or low self-esteem.

We also offer a free membership to Headspace for Regular and Reserve RAF personnel, their partners, and any members of the RAF Family who are currently using our Listening and Counselling Service. Headspace provides short, guided mindfulness sessions via phone or browser, proven to help reduce stress and anxiety, improve mood and support better sleep.

What support is available if someone needs to talk urgently?

Our 24-hour emotional support helpline offers free, confidential emotional support from trained counsellors for serving personnel and their families. You can speak to someone immediately or arrange a call back at a time that suits you. The service supports issues such as stress, anxiety, bereavement, low mood and loneliness, and is delivered on behalf of the Fund by Wellbeing Solutions. Call 0808 1751 365 at any time.

How does the Fund help couples and families who may be experiencing relationship pressures?

Service life can place real strain on relationships, whether that’s due to deployments, frequent moves or the pressures of balancing family life alongside RAF commitments. The Fund works in partnership with Relate to offer free, confidential relationship counselling and mediation for serving personnel, reservists, veterans and their partners.

This support provides couples and families with a safe space to talk things through with a trained counsellor, helping them manage conflict, strengthen communication and navigate challenges in a way that works for them. Sessions can be accessed face to face, online or by phone, making support flexible and accessible wherever you’re based.

What advice can you give to families who may need a break from everyday life?

We recognise that every family is different and that most do superbly well managing daily stresses and strains. Of course, there are times when a break can provide important benefits that contribute to overall health and wellbeing.

Taking a break allows you to rest and recharge, reducing the risk of burnout and improving overall health. It also allows the perfect opportunity to reconnect with loved ones.

We offer a selection of wellbeing breaks for those experiencing pressures or challenges who could benefit from a break away. The Fund’s cottage, the Folly, in the seaside town of Bridlington, is also available for subsidised welfare breaks for serving RAF personnel and RAF veterans all year round. We offer Accessible Breaks for those with mobility needs, removing the stress from planning a holiday by ensuring accommodation is fully adapted to meet accessibility requirements.

Currently in collaboration with Parkdean Resorts, we also offer serving personnel and their families an expanded range of breaks at a wider number of locations across the country. Serving personnel with welfare needs can apply for serving breaks here and priority will be given to families most in need.

How does the Fund support those with caring responsibilities?

We understand the pressures of caring for a loved one and provide a range of support for carers, including funding towards respite breaks, mobility equipment, housing adaptations, advocacy and benefits advice. This can be found on our website via our free digital resource for carers, in partnership with Carers UK.

How can military life affect RAF children and young people?

In our Growing up in the RAF report, we identified that the main worries of RAF children and young people are deployment and frequent home moves, having to leave friends behind and disrupted education.
We are immensely proud to have provided bespoke support for RAF children and their families for over 20 years, including significant investment in childcare centres, play parks, mental health support and our Airplay programme.

Airplay has a hugely positive impact not only on the lives of young RAF children, but also their parents who tell me that they are grateful to have a safe, supportive and fun space for their children where they can fully embrace and celebrate being a part of the RAF Family.

How about those who are lonely and isolated?

People can experience loneliness and isolation for many reasons, including bereavement, frequent moves during service life, health challenges, or caring responsibilities. Through a range of supportive services, we help members of the RAF Family reconnect and build meaningful relationships.

Our Community Engagement Workers support people to take part in regular, sociable activities within their communities, while our Telephone Friendship Groups provide RAF veterans and their partners or widows(ers) with a welcoming space to meet like minded people, share experiences, and develop lasting friendships.

We run annual Group Friendship Breaks, offering those who may not have had a holiday for some time the chance to get away, connect with others, and form new friendships. The team also facilitates breakfast and lunch clubs, as well as Reminiscence Groups, helping people to connect with others who share similar experiences.

How can I get in touch with the Fund for support?

It’s really important for RAF personnel and their families to know that we are there to support them whenever they should need it, whether its financial, practical or emotional support. Please do not hesitate to get in touch with us by visiting rafbf.org/support or calling 0300 102 1919.