"The Fund has given me my marriage and independence back"

Following a sudden, life-changing illness that left her with severe mobility challenges, RAF spouse Mandy Cole turned to the RAF Benevolent Fund for support. Through the provision of an electric wheelchair and ongoing practical and social assistance, Mandy has regained her independence, rebuilt her confidence, and is once again able to enjoy a full and connected life.

Mandy’s link to the RAF comes through her husband, Martin, who served in the RAF from 1984 to 1996 as an Airframe Technician, where he reached the rank of Corporal. Although they were only together for the final two years of his service before he started a new career, Mandy has always felt a strong connection to the Armed Forces.

She explained: "My dad was in the Army, and I always wanted to be a Forces wife. So, when I met Martin, it just felt right. It was great being part of the RAF Family."

Before her health issues, Mandy led a very active life. She held various jobs, including supporting children with behavioural difficulties in schools. Everything changed, however, after a hysterectomy caused complications that led to muscle damage and the need for a stoma. A few years later, Mandy collapsed while out shopping and woke up in intensive care.

Mandy said: "A virus had attacked my muscles and my nerve endings. The doctors said I probably wouldn’t walk again, but with intensive help from the physiotherapists, I did. Still, I had to use crutches and other aids, and I couldn’t leave the house because all I had was a manual wheelchair. My legs were like jelly, and I was basically housebound."

Several years on, Mandy suffered sepsis and spent another three months in hospital, with her condition worsening further. It was at this point that a care manager told her about the RAF Benevolent Fund – a charity that Mandy and Martin had never heard of before.

Mandy said: "My social worker mentioned the Fund about ten years ago and contacted them on my behalf. An occupational therapist came out, assessed me and agreed I needed an electric wheelchair. That’s when everything started to change."

The RAF Benevolent Fund provided Mandy with an electric wheelchair, and later, a second, upgraded chair as her needs changed.

She said: "It has totally transformed my life. I can go out on my own now and I’m not relying on Martin to push me everywhere. People walk beside me now, not behind me. Before, people would speak to him and look right over me in my manual wheelchair. Now they speak to both of us. It has made a huge difference to my dignity."

With her independence restored, Mandy has been able to take part in groups and classes at community centres, make new friends, go shopping independently and re-engage with the world around her.

The Fund’s support has extended far beyond mobility equipment, including financial grants towards a new bed for Martin so they could sleep next to each-other, as well as £300 towards a new dishwasher and essential bedding. The Fund also provided a £500 social inclusion grant to help the couple enjoy a social life again.

Mandy said: "These are things you’d normally have to save up for, and when you’re disabled, life is already so expensive. Even the smaller things made a massive difference to us."

The emotional impact of the support has been profound – both for Mandy and her husband. She said: "It’s helped us tenfold. It has honestly given our marriage back. We’re not stuck at home anymore. We can go out, laugh, have fun and spend proper quality time together. I feel like the old Mandy again."

For Martin, it has brought reassurance too. Mandy explained: "It’s made him feel that the career he once had is still looking after him. That you’re not forgotten."

Mandy is full of praise for the Fund’s Welfare team, who she describes as warm, respectful and understanding. She said: "They never judge. They’re so empathetic. When they call or come to visit, it’s like you’ve known them for years.

"For anyone who may be struggling in silence like I did, please reach out. The Fund has given me my independence back. It’s totally changed my life for the better."